You’re Missing Out… The Lies of Pornography

Ninety percent of the problems we as men (or the men in your life, if you’re a woman) can be traced back to a lie we’ve believed. If you’re a porn model/actor the lie you’re telling the audience is “I want you.” The truth is “I want the money bad enough to do this”. But, that’s another story. One of the only truths of pornography is the hook laid out by its advertisers: “you’re missing out”. Ever read Genesis, chapter 3? Does that line sound familiar?

When Satan told Adam and Eve they were missing out, it was a lie. But, when porn tells us we’re missing out if we don’t consume it, it’s spot-on. Trouble is, we mistake what we’re missing out on. We think we’re missing out on the high that porn delivers. Unfortunately, it’s a high that doesn’t last. Even worse, it’s a high alone – it never delivers on intimacy, which is what we’re really after. Intimacy, that which it can never provide. Intimacy, which comes at a cost: vulnerability, honesty… truth.

Andy Stanley, Michael Leahy, and Ron Jeremy?
     This summer, local pastor Andy Stanley did a series called “New Rules for Love, Sex, and Dating“, which I highly recommend watching for a biblical perspective. It’s not very deep scriptural exegesis, but it does talk about the practical application of truth as God had it recorded in the word. Around that time, I also had a chance

Is there a relationship between love and maturity?

“By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13.35”

The end of discipleship is God’s glory, maturity is the means. In discipleship, obedience [to Christ] is success.

King David messed up. Badly. You know, the whole affair with a married woman and sending her husband off to his death to cover it up? Yet, he was called “a man after God’s own heart”. What the funk?!
Four hundred years of silence between the Old Testament and the New and John the baptist comes on the scene as a forerunner to Christ’s ministry announcing one word – “Repent”. If you read the Psalms for even ten minutes, you can see David understood this principle.

insert Illustrator pop out of repent: “to change one’s mind for better, heartily to amend with abhorrence of one’s past sins” definition
Why, Lord? – What do you want them to BE, DO, and HAVE?”
Be all that Christ designed you to be?

Is this new information or just basic truth in a new or more concise manner?

What is porn?
any material created for the purpose of arousing you sexually – expanded, photo, video, writing, sexting, chat, convo, what I wore to school today,  conversation w girl in line @ Starbuck’s just feeling her out to see what she’ll say. no artistic or literary value.

The lie: “It’s just porn.” What’s the truth and how did the lie impact you?
 As I read through SA book it talks about the contrast between love & lust. Porn is lust. Healthy relationships – giving, lust is taking. Lust kills love. Sex addicts are love cripples. If you’re a fan or recreational user – you’re taking poison. What’s happening to you is not garbage in, garbage out. Garbage stays. You can suppress that first image you ever saw, but you can’t get rid of it completely. Women say that guys that are into porn don’t want to have sex anymore – it doesn’t do it for them.

– Lie came through being exposed to a new belief system. Started lookint as a novelty,  but I was learning a new belief system. It objectified and sexualized men. Dehumanizing your own role – it’s all baout the orgasm.

What’s the problem culturally as we look at the porn issue?
Biggest problem is the dehumanization – desensitization. Hutu & Tutsi example. You are not holding a woman in awe for anything more than her sexuality. When’s the last time you did that for something other than her sexuality, Mother Theresa? We’re in a decline and we’re seeing it played out through sex trafficking. We tell ourselves “no harm done, it;s all jut goofy fun” but it’s the slow formation of a belief system – it’s all about the man getting off. and her value is only based on meeting the man’s needs, which aren’t even needs. 

Woman said “my bf has told me guys just need to release this tension, so when he’s out w his buddies it’s okay to go home w a nother girl, i’s because I have a need to get off”. You’re just going to be one of many… Do you want to be merged w him? You’ll never be enough for him.

The lie is: “I can control what sticks”. What’s the truth & how does God articulate it? I’m still coming home ontime… But, later, it erodes. You lose your ability to see yourself clearly. If you just beat your wife once a month that’s okay, right?
Where there’s a vacuum of information, we’ll fill it in with something. In college, there’s a legitimization of anything goes because the culture tells them anything goes.

What are your spiritual gifts and how did/has/does porn get in the way of operating in the fullness of who Christ designed you to be?
One of the most noticed things about people who struggle w that sin is forgiving themselves you beat yourself up because you sinned against you. For me, it had a huge impact and barrier to my relationship w/ God. The avg rational human being knows when they’re doing right & wrong.
strength of my recovery is in direct proportion to my intimacy to God. I’m susceptible to sexual temptation when I’m out of fellowship w/ Him. The difference between walking into recovery
 group meeting with this issue the size of a beach ball versus a ping pong ball in my hand – am I going to feed it & let it grow or starve it and let it die? I started feeding on the basic blocking & tackling of spiritual growth. Rebuilding my walk. I literally remember praying to God with a gun in my mouth – “teach me how to pray again”. I don’t even know how to talk to you. Keeps totally qualified leaders on the sidelines. 80-90% of (largest evangelistic ministry) of guys who apply for staff or go on mission trips are disqualified because of this issue. “I want to share my faith.” but (it’s got to be a pretty big problem for them to disqualify). If you were an h/r mgr and you had to disqualify 80-90% of your workforce that you want to promote
If you’re coming to the same strip clubs ith me – why do I want to come to Christ? Top 10 ministries (hundreds of students) evaporated in a year because these guys witnesses
is it a Christian club of freinds with benefits. We become impotent in our power for God.
I became not only a participant, but a promoter of the hypersexualized culture.
 Outdoor intercourse day – so coked up…

Links – bravehearsts dot net – book on amazon.

What does this have to do with discipleship?

Casey Sanders –
Interviewed Christy… 1Cor.10.13 /Heb – high priest did it without sin
I’m your help – you cannot help yourself. Self effort will only sustain you for so long, but there’s no power.

Relational injustice