It’s no secret that before I surrendered my life to Christ, I consumed a lot of porn. Even a year or so afterward. Never did I imagine I’d go from wanting free porn to desiring “porn free”. Until Jesus. Today, 14 years clean (by grace), I rely on Him to daily tear down and fend off images in my mind that I wish I could “unthink” and I meet with men regularly to talk them off the ledge of porn addiction. If you struggle with it or just haven’t made up your mind yet that it’s not healthy for you, let me start here:
I’m not here to judge you. AND… I want better for you, even if you don’t see porn free as “better”.
Porn’s far more accessible and how it’s defined is far more a “Grey” area than ever. It’s headed for the big screen again. So, I’m back after a long blogging absence to point to a few matters of great cultural significance that must be examined through a biblical worldview. After all, we’re all discipled by something.
God calls us to train ourselves in righteousness. A boss may teach us to walk in their footsteps so we can take over the division or organization when they retire. In both cases, it’s got a name: grooming. Grooming is a strategic training process implemented by degrees. Just ask any judge who’s had to preside over a pedophelia trial. Perpetrators groom their victims. Of any story we must ask: “for what is the author grooming the audience?” Love? Or, a new version of love?
What Is Love?
Porn is not love. But, love is under attack: we love tacos, Coca-Cola, that smartphone, those shoes. We love… too easily and out of a weak definition. In embracing the cheapened, modern usage of “love”, we lose the value of love. Speaking of “value”, if you typed Command-H and replaced every instance of the word “love” in your Bible with the word “value”, do you realize how little meaning would be lost?
“God so valued the world that He gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. (John 3:16)”
Love is not an emotion and it’s not an event. It’s an expression of value. I stole my working definition of love straight from Voddie Baucham – “Love is an act of the will, accompanied by emotion, which leads to action on behalf of its object.” We love tacos, Coke, that phone, and those shoes because of what they do for us. But, that’s not God’s way: “God loved… [so]… God gave”. Love – true, crazy, sacrificial agape love – is about what we can do for others, not what we get from them.
Baby, Don’t Hurt Me… No More
Naturally, you can understand my outrage regarding the worldwide popularity and excitement surrounding the 50 Shades book and upcoming movie release, right? When we reduce love down to merely a highly sexual relationship, the participants become a commodity (especially when expressed through bondage and sadomasochism ala FSoG) and we miss out on God’s design for love. The economic reality is that every time we “vote” for a book or a movie like this one – and every dollar is a vote – we tell the people who created it “We approve! Make more!” What gets rewarded gets repeated (see article below for the “inside” scoop on “9 Things You Should Know…”). Why are we participating in it… investing in it… rewarding it?
What’s worse, this story is shaping what we believe is “OK” to be on the shelf, on the screen, in our hearts… And, in so doing, it promotes the rape myth and the culture of objectification and enslavement that Jesus came to free us from. In God’s economy, we are not objects. We are the image bearers of our Creator. Let’s not relegate others to any lesser status… God has better in mind for all of us… a clean slate…
Now, What You Came Here For:
Today, I want to share with you
two three excellent articles on the Fifty Shades topic, again from a biblical worldview. Also, a supplemental article on the neurology behind pornography. Last, a little from Paul David Tripp on what love is all about from God’s point of view. I hope you are edified, perhaps corrected, and encouraged by them and pass them on to those who God impresses on your hearts.
- Should Christians Watch 50 Shades? (Micah Lang) and
- Fifty Shades, Twilight, and Teaching Young Women to Desire Abusers
- (just added) from “The Basic Idea Ministries” by our friend, Dave Lewis
For further reading:
Have a Happy Valentine’s Day, God’s way!!!