by Aarron Pina | Mar 18, 2013 | grace, love, Monday Morning Momentum
“We love because he first loved us…”
1 John 4:19
A friend just told me a story about a guy who insulted him in public – cussed him out while he was stopped at a traffic light. My friend was probably in the wrong and probably had cut the guy off. Instead of apologizing, he pretended to be someone he wasn’t and wound up intimidating the guy with deceit.
Our eyes, ears, interpretations, and feelings can easily deceive us. When we respond only to them, we stand in the seat of Jonah the Prophet. Jonah was clearly a passive-aggressive exploder – the kind of person you and I probably find impossible to love. When confronted verbally, he often responded non-verbally with avoidance. When confronted more severely, he cranks up the pity-party music and deflects with suicidal ideation. “Throw me overboard… I’m the reason everything is miserable and I’d rather die than carry out my assignment.”
This deep seated self focus makes it impossible for us to love or be loved – giving love is a selfless act and receiving love demands humility or it quickly devolves into a gift giving contest where one party tries to “pay back” the love. That’s not love at all… it’s false humility.
Cristine and I had one of the most extravagant dates ever on Saturday night at a restaurant we’d never have eaten at were it not for the gift card that got us there. We felt like the Beverly Hillbillies as the valet parked our Toyota minivan between a 4 door Porsche and a $100K+ Mercedes. We were so wrapped up in the extravagance that we almost missed the meaning:
Christ loves us extravagantly. Not because of what we have done, but because we are His. So much so, that one day He will sing over us with rejoicing – see Zeph. 3:17. It’s unconditional love and while the meal we had was outrageously delicious and refined, it’s nothing compared to what we’ll taste in heaven.
I shared my friend’s story with her as we ate, not knowing what we were in store for later. We drove to a nearby outdoor mall for a walk under the stars in the unseasonably warm evening. Pulling into the parking lot, a pedestrian raged at me:
“Hey, d!c#! Don’t you know how to F&$ing stop?!”
Ouch.
Wounded heart? I mean, who would publicly spout that much venom if they weren’t deeply wounded, and likely lost, separate from the love of Christ?
Thank God for my friend’s story. I could have pulled a Jonah and yelled back at the guy to protect my honor… Yet, like Jonah, I knew I was in the wrong and God was far more concerned with the soul of that man than with my dented pride or Jonah’s comfort (see Jonah 4:9-11).
Wish I could say I got out of the van, humbled myself before the guy, shared the gospel and brought him to salvation in Christ… But, that just wasn’t on the agenda. He was too busy staring the van down all the way to when I parked and aiming one, singular finger at my face as he walked to his destination.
What’s important is that God got through to me –
“Don’t get so caught up with the glitz and comfort of the things that are here today and gone the next… let your heart be broken for those who are far from me and far from each other. Don’t get so caught up in what others do to “not” deserve love that you forget to love them like I loved you when you were dead in your sin. That guy was created in my image and I love him, too. I will sing over him with rejoicing someday. The world has taught you well to love those who love you and are kind to you. But, I am the Lord and I challenge you to love them, bless them, pray for them even when they curse you (twice in the same breath).”
I can love a God who would pick me up out of the mud I made and stuck myself in. In His honor, how can I not love a few people who throw mud at me?
Love without expectation of anything but cursing in return. If you get better than that, it is a blessing. If not, you will be blessed at the judgment seat as one who overcomes.
Give ’em heaven.
in Christ,
AP
by Aarron Pina | Mar 11, 2013 | Christ, discipleship, Monday Morning Momentum
Do you know someone who’s always hopeless or pessimistic? They’ve tried and failed. They tried again with a better plan or better people and the people, the plan, or both fell through. “Maybe, it’s just me.” they think. They look at the sky and see a half a cloud, so it must be about to pour, right? You plead with them – “It’s (insert your city or town). If you don’t like the weather, just wait a few minutes and it’ll change.”
“Wrong.” they say, listing all of the valid exceptions: “Lima, Peru – it never rains; Seattle, WA – always raining; and San Diego – always sunny and 72.”
You beg and reason with them until you’re blue in the face. You may even begin to question yourself in light of all the evidence they present. Maybe, you’ve even walked away from them for a season.
“You have a negative view of the past, of the present, and of the future. You feel that nothing is going to get better—that it’s terrible now and it’s going to stay this way the rest of your life,” says Dr. Archibald Hart.
“My life has always been rainy… There’s no hope. I’m a Seattle and all of my friends are San Diegos.” Hoplessness, shame, and pessimism are lies that affirm this: “the past = the future”. If that were true, why bother? But, we can bother. We are called to bother. Jesus died to dump hopelessness, shame, and pessimism in the lake of fire.
David asks God the tough questions throughout the Psalms about why the wicked prosper and prods at God “how long will you let… [this injustice continue]” Jeremiah models it, too, in 20.18:
“Why did I ever come out of the womb to see trouble and sorrow and to end my days in shame?”
The great news for your friend who is hopeless, burdened by shame, and weighed down by pessimism: Elijah, Moses, Job, Jonah, Jeremiah – great men of God all despaired for their lives. Yet, all saw miracles of God before their own eyes (or once they were out of the belly of the fish and could see something… Ah, you get the point.)
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Silence is Golden: So, how do you handle your “mostly cloudy” friends?Know when words just won’t do. When Job lost everything… and then lost it all again… and again… His three friends started out on the right foot:
“Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. 2.13″
Sometimes, words are necessary. Other times, words are the worst thing to bring to the table. This is more art than science – advice from the Holy Spirit is more often than not the only true barometer.
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Let Them Grieve without Giving Your Advice – when dealing with someone who’s stuck in the past, or even a present crisis, leaving your Home Depot/DIY apron in the truck is the rule of the day. As I grow wiser, I’m learning when my bride is hurting or just plain worn down by life that one of the most valuable questions I can ask is this:
“Are you telling me this because you’re seeking a solution or because you just need to vent?”
Men, this has kept my marriage on the rails more often than not – but it is wisdom for all kinds of relationships. Don’t let your talent at fixing things derail your ability to pastor a friend or confidant.
- Encourage Sincerely – When you’ve received permission to offer your opinion or advice, pray that God gives you the words to say and that you stay away from the Hallmark aisle of your brain. Nobody – I mean nobody – likes canned speeches and trite verses.
- Don’t Minimize the Past – “It’s really not that big a deal.” is incredibly an minimizing and impersonal way of saying “Your suffering is nothing.” Yes, we all need to weight our present suffering against the suffering of Christ on our behalf, but God is a personal God, not a God of facts. Take into account that everyone’s personal struggles are just that: personal. Minimizing their personal affects feels like you’re minimizing them.
- Point to Jesus – The most important bridge to build is from past or present pain to future hopes and dreams and only the death, resurrection and ransom of Christ offers us proof and assurance that the past does not equal the future. Fluffy, flowery Jesus talk doesn’t really help – see #3 – but, a real expression that we’re all stuck for now in this broken world, redeemed, and soon to be delivered is the only truth that can build that bridge.
You’re not their Messiah – a lot of times, we get hung up trying to solve their problem, rather than carrying the burden for a time. Keeping this in perspective is a crucial guardrail in staying out of the muck while pulling them out. Great lifeguards know you can’t save everyone, merely offer a steady hand to those who will accept it.
In a Genesis 3 world, we will all have trouble. But, Christ assures us in light of this He has overcome the world and will deliver us from our light and momentary troubles. Ultimately, we will one day meet Him at the Bema seat (2 Cor. 5.10) and be rewarded for the things we did in His power and crowns for the pains we suffered in the meantime.
Great rewards await… all who overcome.
in Christ,
AP
by Aarron Pina | Feb 19, 2013 | Christ, clutter, Monday Morning Momentum, ONE TH1NG, truth
Inbox on Fire?
Ever feel like a blind fireman on a high speed treadmill, putting out flames because they were “there” but working with no strategy or forethought? Ever think “If I ever do put out this fire, there’ll only be two more to take its place!”
Career path…
Promotion…
Growing responsibility…
Non-stop emails…
Honey-do list…
Four months into a nice promotion I had a tangled ball of loose ends in a sky-high inbox and onscreen, over 1,100 unread emails!
That’s when I came across David Allen’s book “Getting Things Done.” I read it until 2AM and immediately implemented everything I could. 1,100 emails went to 0 in 72 hours and I was committed to stay on top of the pile. I now had power and perspective. It lasted… or so I thought.
Smelling the Same, Old Smolder?
Shortly after our marriage, Cristine made it really clear that I’d brought too much stuff into our small apartment when we merged lives. Inbox was on fire again. Silly me thought she was just referring to stuff that could be seen. There was plenty of that, but I also had too many commitments and unfinished business on my calendar and in my head. There was smoke on the brain and it was making life stink.
Our young family was gasping for air and the mirror clearly pointed to one of the prime sources of suffocation. While I had learned some great practices and helpful principles, but applications were limited to a few compartments of my life. The cause of the fire couldn’t have been my desk… but with so much smoke, how could we track down the source? We needed clarity.
David Allen says this:
“Most peoples’ to-do lists are just incomplete collections of unclear things. Most peoples’ organization is just rearranging piles of still unclear stuff.”
So what can be done to bring clarity and abolish clutter?
Let’s flip the pages of an even better book and see what God has to say. You see, clutter isn’t just about things… it usually starts with our thoughts. As I read the word, God showed me my thinking had been very, very sloppy and sloppy thoughts come from a sloppy heart. Taming the clutter meant subduing the disobedient parts of my heart… a heart divided against the Lord.
Ultimate Fire Emergency Plan:
God provides clarity like this: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your strength. Deuteronomy 6:5 He also teaches us that serving rival gods leads us to a place of confusion, contamination… clutter. “No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.” Sounds like conflict, right? But, a heart divided between building two kingdoms is the primary fuel for the fire. And, a mind “controlled by the Spirit [which brings] life and peace (Rom. 8:6)” is the elite fire team designed to tame the rebellious heart’s spreading flames.
Conflict and clutter can show up in a lot of different places… our schedule, our priorities, our check book, junk drawer, our trunks, our closet, our plans, our hearts, our minds.
Clutter isn’t just a fire starter, though -it’s also a mirror. It provides clues and important evidence. The challenge for us who seek to follow Christ is in accepting that the mirror is accurate without downplaying our idolatry and service to the rival god of “[our] stuff”. Walking away from that mirror without forgetting what you’ve seen will require a plan, an act of God, and a band of brothers to watch your back.
If you ever feel like you are working harder yet falling farther behind; if your email inbox is over 100; if you feel like you own some nice stuff, but your stuff also owns you; if you smell the fresh air of freedom, but the smoke is still in your lungs; then join us at a table this Friday morning at ONE TH1NG (The Cabernet Steakhouse, Windward Pkwy & 400 from 7AM to 7:55AM) where we’ll look into the only Word that brings eternal life and can set us free from sloppy thinking, a divided heart and the luring lie of multi-tasking.
Come hungry for the truth and fasten your seat belt.
AP
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