Recapturing Manhood
What’s True Manhood All About?
Last week, a friend of mine kicked off a discussion for a group of men at ONE TH1NG, part of a series there on “biblical manhood”. That morning, only a few exits in either direction on GA 400 and at the same hour, a couple thousand men stepped into a new season of “Seven” at North Point Community Church and Brown’s Bridge Community Church. I half expected ONE TH1NG to be ghost town. Instead, the room was packed with 67 guys, riveted on the topic of manhood. In groups of 4 to 5, they processed out loud: “What does God have to say about manhood and is manhood as badly shipwrecked as it can be?”
Who’s the Man?
Cut to the chase, most men today operate out of poor definitions of manhood given by poor definers, generally speaking, such as: bad fathers, absentee dads, sitcom fathers, country music, rap music, you get the point… It’s hard, following popular examples, headlines, or even our own churches, to see where all the true men have gone.
Every one of us can spot “something” wrong when we see a bad example. We just can’t always put our finger on it, let alone model it full time. I’m with you. Ask 10 people what their definition of a man is, and we’ll likely get a hobbling Frankenstein monster formed from some of the worst scraps of “all of the above”. God’s word isn’t silent on the matter. But, we’ve got to look at how bad the damage is before we talk about the cure.
Ron Dunn contends there are three “hoods” we can either move through or stay stuck in:
Ron Dunn contends there are three “hoods” we can either move through or stay stuck in:
- “Malehood” – doesn’t take any effort: you’re either born with male genitalia or not.
- Boyhood – a season of life when a male is dependent and irresponsible. Often characterized by ungodly strategies such as lying, demanding, blaming, retreating, or relinquishing.
- Manhood – taking responsibility under God’s rule.
It’s Really That Bad
Bottom line, while men are born into malehood and boyhood, many walk into adulthood ruled by their malehood, or refuse to relinquish their boyhood, leaving millions of women either scratching their heads or taking over men’s roles because they’re fed up with the resulting void of leadership:
- 40% of children born last year were born out of wedlock. Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness, suicide, poor educational performance, teen pregnancy and criminality.
- Young men who grow up in homes without fathers are twice as likely to end up in jail
- 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
- 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes
- and on… and on…
Fatherhood matters. It requires manhood, not malehood or boyhood. Watch, as we turn the tables:
- Children with Fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school.
- Children with Fathers who are involved are 70% less likely to drop out of school.
- Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to get A’s in school.
- Children with Fathers who are involved are more likely to enjoy school and engage in extracurricular activities.
Fatherhood is only one example of manhood gone wrong… Listen to Albert Mohler from last week and you’ll hear how the “he-cession” is being followed by a “she-covery” and how manhood gone awry is impacting the culture at large. Or, maybe you already get the point.
Feeling Adequate or Above?
Maybe you’re doing just fine. Maybe you’re living the dream, abiding like a champ… Until you compare yourself with your heroes. Today I got my weekly e-update from friends at Centurion Advisory Group. Great info on what’s going on with the Dow, Bernanke, etc. Today, they note the recent release of the purely Satanic game “Grand Theft Auto, V” produced sales of over $1B. Then went on to point out a few matters regarding manhood:
Maybe you’re doing just fine. Maybe you’re living the dream, abiding like a champ… Until you compare yourself with your heroes. Today I got my weekly e-update from friends at Centurion Advisory Group. Great info on what’s going on with the Dow, Bernanke, etc. Today, they note the recent release of the purely Satanic game “Grand Theft Auto, V” produced sales of over $1B. Then went on to point out a few matters regarding manhood:
At age 20, Bill Gates founded Microsoft. At age 21, Thomas Edison created his first invention, and Steve Jobs co-founded Apple. At age 22, Samuel Colt patented the six-shooter, and at age 24, Johannes Kepler defended the Copernican theory, and described the structure of the solar system. At age 25, Orson Welles directed and starred in Citizen Kane, Charles Lindbergh became the first person to fly the Atlantic solo, and Alexander the Great became King of Persia.At age 26, Albert Einstein published five major research papers in a German physics journal, Ben Franklin published the first edition of Poor Richard’s Almanac, and Napoleon Bonaparte conquered Italy.I’ve wondered if we haven’t emasculated a generation of young men, urging them toward a safe, risk free life, instead of encouraging them to use all their passion, energy, and idealism to solve the problems of the world. Too many, it seems, are content to live out their dreams of changing the world vicariously, through a video game, rather than charging the hill to make the world a better place.
As adult males, we must begin to recapture our purpose: responsibility under God’s rule for His glory. In Genesis 3, when the Fall took place, God didn’t go after Eve for her sin – he asked Adam, as He’s still asking us today, where he had, as the man responsible, failed God, himself and Eve. God commanded all the men to meet with Him three times a year (see Deut. 16:16), promising to care for their families and fields while they were away. God clearly takes manhood seriously. And, He hasn’t left us in the dark on it.
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Mel Gibson, as Lt. Col. Harold Moore calling in “broken arrow” on desperate men. |
All is Not Lost: Calling Down Fire From Above
If you saw “We Were Soldiers”, you know the story of Lt. Col. Harold Moore, whose troops were vastly outnumbered and entirely surrounded in La Drang Valley during Vietnam. Mel Gibson, who played Moore, calls in “‘Broken arrow’… I repeat ‘broken arrow'”. This means the situation is so desperate that if friendly fire is not called in on your location (possibly killing and wounding some of your own men), you and your men are lost.
Manhood is in trouble. But, biblical manhood holds true, lasting solutions. God’s refining fire could wound or kill us in some figurative or literal way. But, it is the only option outside of total massacre. I have no excuses. Reasons, but no excuses. I’ve failed as a man repeatedly and like you, I don’t need anyone else to prattle on about how short I’ve fallen of the mark. I want solutions. And God, who is rich in mercy, has given me breath, heartbeat, and another day to get up and walk as He designed us all to. Will you join Him as He calls us to walk in those shoes?
If you’re a man in the Alpharetta/John’s Creek/Cumming/Roswell/Dawsonville area – join us at a table, no prep required, as we dive in again on what it means to be a man, God’s way, at ONE TH1NG this Friday morning at the Cabernet Steakhouse on Windward at GA 400 7AM to 7:59AM for part 3 of Broken Arrow.
in Christ,
AP